


Queen

by Nyanzaya



Category: Durarara!!, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Lost Soulmate, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Promise, Symbols, deep regret, grave stone, self reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyanzaya/pseuds/Nyanzaya
Summary: It's hard to lose someone so close. Especially when you known them for centuries. The universe plays by strange rules, rules that would never make sense, but everything has a reason, right?
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Kudos: 11





	Queen

Fall had always been a season Zuo didn’t enjoy. The day would grow shorter as the harsh winter would creep forward. How the days grew colder and everything seemed to return to a state of hibernation.

He had always preferred the warmth of the summer sun and how it would keep him warm even with a soft breeze.

Of course, all good things must come to an end.

The cream-colored feline understood this well despite the hurt he felt in his chest. He had been avoiding this meeting with his beloved but he knew he had to face him again but this wasn’t how he envisioned it.

Standing in front of their tombstone.

His heart clutched with a tight pain at the sight as he held the flowers in his arms. The bundle he held were a mix of red and pink carnations, morning glory red and dark crimson roses. Zuo knew that they couldn’t possibly be able to see the red and the pink without their glasses but as long as he could see the Morning Glory, the rest didn’t matter.

The feline took in a deep breath before he exhaled a ragged sigh. “I know… I shouldn’t have stayed away for so long.” Zuo gave a soft, broken laugh. “But, I brought you your favorite flowers, see?” He offered, getting on his knees to place the flowers on the ground in front of the stone.

Zuo waited as if expecting some kind of response. His ears turned back as he looked down at the flowers before he looked at the stone again. He couldn’t stand reading his name:

Iza Omen Orihara.

That wasn’t the name he knew them by. Queen was a better fit. Zuo reached out to touch the stone, “It’s hard, Iz.. I think I’m the only one stuck in the past, you know?” He spoke again and paused for another answer that won’t come.

“I wish I could have saved you.” Zuo bunted his forehead against the stone as he closed his eyes, his shoulder shivered as his ears laid flat. He re-envisioned that day.

The day his other half was dying in his arms. How he had held the black feline so tightly, as if he could keep them together even if Zuo knew that it was impossible, but he still held on to the naive hope that it wasn’t too bad. That he had rushed to his side quickly enough to catch him before he fell, but always, he was too late.

It should have been the other way around. Zuo would tell himself.

Why was it reversed in this lifetime? Every time before this it was him first. It was something Zuo simply couldn’t understand. The universe itself was strange and had its own plans and intentions but to think this time was different was baffling. And because the universe played by its own rules, Zuo was left here alone in the cold of the nighttime evening of fall sobbing over his entire world that slipped through his fingers.

He slammed his fist on the stone, “It’s not fair! It should’ve been me-! It should of been...” Zuo wept, trying to cover up his sorrow with a fit of anger.

His hand hurt. He wasn’t able to break the stone that still stood before him, almost mocking. It showed off his weakness, his fear, and how helpless he was to stop such a fate from happening. Zuo dragged his hand across the name, his forehead still pressed against it as he looked at his hand. The scars almost seemed to laugh at him. They proved how much he had survived and lived through and yet they had been cut by a simple stone.

He gave a bitter laugh. It felt as if Iza himself were scolding him for such weakness but Zuo knew Iza better than that. This was a sign that he was stronger than he appeared. He pulled back, reading the text again before he stood up, using the hand that had gotten cut to wipe his tears away. Zuo took in another breath, exhaling his breath upward. “I still have to apologize.”

The feline put his hands on his coat pockets. “I didn’t listen to you but..when did I ever listen to you anyway?”

_‘Don’t do anything stupid, Zuo.’_

Iza’s last words echoed in his mind, before he gave a quiet hurt laugh as he looked back down at the tombstone. “After it all, I did the one thing you’ve always wanted me to do.”

His ears turned forward and his tail swayed. He remembered the afterward, how he felt the energy and how the crowd had turned hectic before he took control. The power he felt. It was almost too much and within that brief moment he understood how Iza felt.

The feeling of being on a stage and in the spotlight.

With high emotions of revenge, grief and anger on his mind. The scent of iron clear on his sense that had never smelled so sweet until now. It made him understand just what Iza meant.

_‘I’m doing you a favor, Dear. Isn’t the scent wonderful? It tells us that we are survivors. So, why don’t you draw some blood as well?’_

He turned the crowd into a riot.

Zuo shook the memory away and with shaky hands he pulled out a catnip cigarette and lit it, instantly taking a deep breath of it before exhaling. It was out of habit. The catnip didn’t work anymore.

“I don’t know if you’d be proud or not.” He said honestly, but Zuo knew Iza wouldn’t accept such a thing. The feline wondered if perhaps their roles had changed in that moment.

By the end of their time together, it was Iza who didn’t want there to be bloodshed but Zuo couldn’t have possibly known Iza’s true intentions behind the meaning of his last words.

Zuo took another huff of the mint. “I fucked it all up. I could blame you for it all but I know you. You’re too petty and stubborn to die like that. You probably cursed me for another hundred years, huh, Amour?” He gave a bitter laugh at the thought.

Of course, he knew that he’d find Iza again whatever form he may be in.

The feline took out a white envelope and put the used catnip cigarette inside before pocketing it in his coat. “I’ll fix this for you.” He promised. Zuo had foolishly let his emotions get the better of him at the time and ruined everything that was built, it was a mistake. A fatal mistake that he would regret until the day he finds himself in a new life.

A new life that he hoped he could live right, even if it meant being at opposing ends with his soulmate again.

With a slight bow, Zuo turned to leave before he stopped. The feline turned back again, “I forgot, but…happy birthday, Iza.”

With new resolve Zuo found it in himself to turn away and do as promised. He never broke his promises and intended to keep this one.

Even if it would kill him, he knew he had to fix this. He wore the rings that had been given to him on each middle finger. They were from Iza. Even if they were gifted, Zuo knew exactly what they were supposed to be:

_A token of their union at last._


End file.
